Cluless No More

Maggie: Sad news. Your "Cluless" audio cassette that you treasured is now sold and on its way to West Palm Beach, Florida. ($2.39 plus shipping). Too late to ask for it back.

I Live in Akron

This is my city.....deal with it.

Good Lord

I am trying my darndest to find one redeeming quality about Queen Latifah. Unfortunately, it's not working.
Was it a dream, or was she seriously in that random movie with Steve Martin?
Good Lord.

I do live in Chicago

I have to remind myself that sometimes. I already feel overwhelmed in school.
Here is a picture of Jesse, Dave, Kate, and Me at Maeve. See, I do live in Chicago.

BOO-YAH!

Here's to all the nay-sayers that told me I was a conspiracy theorist when I said heartburn does not exist! I may have been a little aggressive in that statement, but I have just learned that over 90% of people diagnosed with "Acid Reflux Disease" do not really suffer from the problem; their doctors are just writing up a script to get them out of the office!
There is QUITE a difference between heartburn (acid reflux disease) and simple indigestion - BOOYAH!

Think Pepsi Still Needs a Spokeswoman?

What is my deal?

This summer it was Dippin Dots, and then it was Mexican Food, now it is Reuben Sandwiches... all I do is think about them! Who knows what will be my next craving? There is no method to my madness!!

My New Best Friend

For those of you who are not aware of the "Sports Gal", she is the wife of a espn.com sports columnist, and she writes an article every now and then for his column, usually about pop culture... I loved her latest entry, and thought I would share.

SPORTS GAL'S RANT

Right now, I'm eight and a half months pregnant and have a giant bowling ball in my stomach. I can't sleep and I pee every hour on the hour. Every time I lay down, I feel like someone's kicking field goals inside me. My daughter constantly wants me to hold her even though I can't hold a bag of groceries at this point. I'm always 20 degrees hotter than everyone else, but Bill lowers the air conditioning every time I'm not looking so I call him the Air Conditioning Nazi. I'm very emotional and can't watch any movie where a dog gets killed or someone might die of cancer because I don't want the water works to start flowing. If I seem especially mean in these rants over the next few weeks, don't blame me -- blame God for deciding that it would be a good idea for women to have babies and men to watch football every Sunday. I wish Bill was carrying this kid and I could go over to a friend's house to watch TV for eight straight hours under the flimsy excuse that "it's my job." Yeah, it was also your job not to knock me up in time for football season.

Just know that I'm extremely concerned. Our second baby is due right between Game 7 of the World Series and the start of the NBA season, and during the middle of football season as well. Bill claims this won't be a major problem. Ohhhhhh-kay. I keep having this nightmare that I'll be in labor in agonizing pain, but every time I look up for support from Bill, he'll be pretending to care while he's really trying to figure out how to get split-screen on the 13-inch hospital TV. If that happens, I will be the first pregnant woman to file for divorce at the same time they're administering the epidural. The other problem is that we can't decide on a name. We're having a son and Bill thinks we should name it after him because he's a third and the kid would be a fourth. I love the logic of that one -- sure, let me carry the kid for 10 months, and then we'll name it after you. That's an awesome idea. Even when he jokes that we should name him D'Bill or LaBill so he'll be a good athlete, it makes me mad. Everything makes me mad right now. Did I mention that I'm eight and a half months pregnant?

I refuse to discuss names any more, I want to see Bill's performance in the final days of the pregnancy first. If he's watching sports every spare second and saying things like, "Why did you have to go into labor during Game 6 of the World Series, what were you thinking?", then I'm naming this kid Peyton Manning Simmons and that will be that. Anyway, I'm sorry this week's rant isn't about Britney throwing her career down the toilet, but I had to get that off my swollen chest. Now I have to go pee again. Here are my Week 2 picks:

Falcons +10.5, Pitt -9.5, Browns +6.5, Texans +6.5, Tenn +6.5, NO -3, SF +3, Miami +3.5, Minn +3, Zona +2.5, KC +12, Ravens -10, Oak +9.5, Pats -3, Wash +7.

Last week: 9-5-2
Season: 9-5-2

And if you want a good guffaw...

The First Day of Nursing School...

...... and we learn how to take a rectal temperature. Welcome to the study of the human body, Maggie!

ps - I chose a cat so I wouldn't offend the squeamish of my 5 readers.

Man, do I love this quote

"And at the end, the unforgiveables will never be forgiven...

Because in old age they do not need to be forgiven, they are simple forgotten...Forgetting, that marvel of the old mind, may actually be the truest form of forgiveness, and a blessing."

She's mine

I have been dogsitting Jesse's dog while he is away in Witchita for the weekend, and I don't think I want to give Lottie back. Sorry Jess.

Thank you Tracy and Liz....